I have been thinking about how to word this for quite some time now. That seems DRAMATIC!
Originally I wanted to end on the anniversary of the day I started my blog, but I figured I should just rip the band-aid off. I will no longer be on Tumblr, because I need to be out in the real world. But Before I do that, I want to thank all of you for being inspirational and entertaining. It has been nice to know that I am not alone. There are other bad bitches out there and I hope to meet you in the flesh. Shout out to my vulnerable bitches who reveal their true spirits, thoughts, opinions, dreams, struggles, ambitions…Thank you for sharing your life stories with me.
I feel obligated to state the origin of my blog: Travis McCoy. In all honesty, I found is blog by the grace of our lord and savior, and I learned how to type his URL so fast, that I decided to just get a blog to keep track of him and do as he had been doing. Sharing myself with others. He really consumed my thoughts as a teenager. But let me skip to the present now…Because here I am and that is the point of this final post. And I mean it! I am sad, because I want to hear about your day, and know that you guys are still kicking it.
But I have lost myself in the process of being consumed with a life that is not focused on the present here and now.
I have found myself with friends and family going through my dashboard, and wanting to write things down immediately to share and document. Now, I will continue to document but, in a format that I need to return to. My sketchbooks hold my soul and I have neglected my art to the point that I am angry at myself. How could I give up my first true love and my life like that? Art and the process of making is when I am most happy, and I have neglected to act on the things I need in order to survive in this world. I have turned to this blog, thinking I am making art when really I am not. This may not make sense to you, but I need to do me for some time. I need to go back to where I came from and dig up my roots and walk around and find a new home. Not another SNS. I mean a new me.
I feel like my past is holding me back a bit. And I may not be making sense to you, but sometimes you have to move on from the fantasy you have created and the ideation in your mind to chase reality. I haven’t had time to paint, or draw, or make art like I used to and I can feel my soul crumbling.
Before I go, I want you guys to be know I pray for all of you often. Like seriously. I wish all of you the best, and I hope you go make that film with Ryan. I hope you get to have intimate conversations with Drake. And I hope you accept yourself. Flaws and All. I hope you get the chance to take vacations. I hope you find Love. I hope you make piece with your past, your family, your old friends, and the old you and you move forward to achieve happiness. Achieve is not the right word, perhaps attain? The point I am trying to make is I hope you are happy, and you find reasons in your every day-to-day activities to smile. I don’t want to leave, but I know this chapter of constantly being afraid to go out and make new, has to end. I don’t know who I have been following the longest on here but I know Travis has a lot to do with it. I don’t know who has been following me the longest, but I know Travis has something to do with it. We have evolved. I was going through my Likes accumulated over the course of four years and dang…changes.
Im not going to spell check, because I need sleep and Im sad right now but …SIKE. No I am begin very serious. I just don’t want to leave. Well…It has been Trill as Fuck. I am not deleting I am just Leaving. ForEVER. I really am Short and Thick. If any of you want to visit me or contact me you can google me. No… in all seriousness I haven’t figured that out. I guess you missed your chance. Bye my loves. I got you on Prayer.